FIERCe

Student: "Um, when I was a kid was probably the most persistent time, and I didn't realize that's what I was experiencing until I became an adult. And the reason that, um, that it was there was--that it was an experience for me was because of lack of money. And, um, so the--being the reason that we had lack of money was because I was, uh, one of, um, of a large--one out of a large family, where there was seven children, and we often had, um, extended family living with us and, and there were times when, um, back then it was, you know, mostly single wage-earner income, and there were times when, uh, there just wasn't any money, and, um, so, you know, we made due with what we had and, um, as the plate went around the dinner table by the time--cause I was one of the youngest, um, and I was helping to fix the meal so I usually sat down--one of the last people to sit down that there wasn't--I used to laugh about why I liked chicken wings is because that was the only piece of meat I cut off the chicken for years. And I learned to really enjoy it! I didn't know what I was missing; I don't think I had a thigh until I was like, nineteen years old and wasn't living at home anymore.

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Um, but when--when the worst of it was when my, um, father, who was the wage earner for the most part had, uh, taken a job out of the state, um, he was, uh, planning to just be gone for a short period of time and would send--he--the plan was he would send money up, and *ahem* that didn't work out and, so, uh, my mom took at a job at a mill, and, uh, but she didn't get, you know, paid for a while, and when she did get paid, women got paid a lot less than--she couldn't, you know; there wasn't enough money basically, and she was--to make bills and. . .So you know, we would do--when it was time for dinner, um, or for a meal, we would, um, 'well what do you--what should we have?'

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Well, one of the standbys was milk toast. And I love milk toast even today--you know that--we made a big deal out of it to make it seem like it wasn't a bad--bad thing. And we never discussed it like 'oh,' you know, 'we're so poor, we don't have any money, we don't have any food.' Um, but that's what it was. And--but we just kinda made it a, an occasion, and, um. So we would, you know, clean the couch out and get pennies out of there and take, um, um, some--we had uh, a bottle bill that made all bottles deposits, but before that there were some types of bottles that we could, um, that you could turn in for, um, pennies, I think it was. But anyway, we would take--we would find bottles, pennies, and we'd all empty our--what we could remember where we saw a penny or a nickel, and *ahem* um, and then we'd count up how much we had: We knew how much a gallon of milk cost and how much a loaf of bread cost. And, fortunately, uh, we had cinnamon, usually, and a little bit of sugar, so we would do, um, a run to the store, and come back, and we'd have just enough. So we got really good at math; I think that process had, uh, an effect on that. Um, and we would hurry back and it was easy to fix, um, with a toaster; we didn't usually do toast in the oven. I mean, we were kids, and, so we were doing one toast; one person--it would feed, you know two toast--two slices would get two people started. And they would get started with their milk toast while we continued with the. . .And, you know, it was fun; I mean, we made a game out of it, basically, but, um, that was all we'd have to eat. And we didn't think of it that way. Um, I didn't, anyway; maybe some of the older kids did.

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Um, and that happened a lot, and, um. You know, I remember there were other lean times when, uh, we just didn't have--we went on--they started doing Commodities around that time. It was called what--it was called uh, food stamp program now; used to be called Commodities. And, um, we were in a rural area and uh, so it was a brand new thing. Might've been in larger cities but I think when I've read later on it it was fairly new, um, where we--um, all across the country when we got it where I was living and. . .And so we'd go out to the commodities, um, store of the warehouse and get food, and I was sort of aware of food insecurity at that point. Even though I was still a kid, because, um, the food that was available was not food we would be eating ordinarily. Um, because it wouldn't have--it--I didn't know about nutrition, I didn't know about, you know, um, wholesome eating; I mean, we were eating milk toast and thinking it was fabulous, so I didn't really know about food, but I did know that the food that was available was probably not really good to be eating. And--but we--there was parts of it that we all liked, and, er, some of the family, um, some of my brothers and sister liked some of the commodities. So that's what mom would get, and, um, *ahem* and--but she also, they would give her things like the dry milk, and, um, the block of what they called American cheese which was--I always thought it was unedible, personally; it was, uh, artificial colored and had a really weird consistency and when it melted it was just, um, a puddle of grease; I mean, it was obviously not real food. And--but I didn't know that at the time, I just knew there was something wrong with that picture.

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Um, so food insecurity--and, and like I said, I didn't really know until later, and when, um, I experienced food insecurity a few times in my adult life, um, for different reasons: Lack of, um, income when I was at college; I, um, experienced it a couple times and, where I just didn't have, uh, I didn't have means to buy food. And fortunately I always had, um, friends and family that, when I would stop by their place they would--they would feed me and, you know. So I don't think I ever thought more than a day or two at a time that I didn't know where my meal was going to come from. Um, and if I realized I was even thinking in those terms I would find family or friends that I would stay with. So, um, that--that was fortunate for me, and, uh, I've known people over the years that, um, you know, went for long periods of time without knowing how they were going to get food, or knowing that they were going to get it at a, uh, food pantry, or, um, something like that. And it does, um, occupy a major part of your day when you--when it's time to eat, or you need to have something to eat, and you don't have food in the house.

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Um, you know, when you're a kid, like; you know, my memories of the worst of it probably; the longest stretches of not having income for food was when I was a kid and so my, my parents were the concerned parties for the reason, and, and, as kids, we were just, you know, like: I remember my, um, friend coming to the house after school one day, and we usually went to her house after school cause there was never any food in our house, but, we were at our--my house for some reason, and my mom wasn't there--no, nobody was there, I think, for some reason, and *ahem* she was saying 'well, don't you have something to eat?' And I go 'well, we have a few of these saltine crackers,' but they'd been really stale, nobody was wanting to eat them at the house. And I--I go 'well, we do have a little bit of butter, we can put butter on crackers.' And, 'okay!' And so, you know, there was like, four crackers, and there was a little bit of butter, and--but we really, you know, we made a party out of it! And there was a little bit--there was some cocoa for making fudge, and, um, so I sprinkled a little cocoa on one, and we both agreed that it tasted exactly like an Oreo cookie, and, um, thought that was really great--or a chocolate cookie; I don't think we ate Oreos, but. . .Um, yeah; as a kid, um, it just kinda went over my head."